| Louisiana |
[Aug. 2nd, 2005|12:18 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hot | ] |
Holy mother effer.... its hot here.. haha. I didnt think it would be this hot but it is. Its all good tho cuz I'm with my mikey and thats all that matters. I'll get used to the heat. I havent written in this in forever. and I havent been online in forever either. The only thing that the internet is really useful for now is talking to my friends. Everything else online is really boring. I'm getting bored with ratemybody.com... that site is getting so lame. I havent been on it for a month until today and nothing has changed... still the same stupid people. So I think I'm done goin there for awhile.
But anyway... the trip down here was fun. Alot of quality time spent with Mike. I'm surprised I'm not annoyed with him yet. Usually by now I would be. We've been together everyday for a month straight now and I couldnt be more happier with him. I still want him around I still want him to hug and kiss me and thats a good sign. He's a great guy. I'm glad I made this step in my life. We'll see how it goes from here on out.
In two weeks I'm going to Georgia to live with my Grandma... I hope that goes well too. The thing I'm worried about is findin a job. My uncle says he can get me a job but it has to do with fixing computers and I dunno if I can learn everything I need to learn in just 2 weeks. So I dunno how that will go. But it pays anywhere from 8.50 to 10.50 an hour just to start... so we'll see. I might have to suck it up for awhile whether I like the job or not just so I can make some money. I wanna go back home for Christmas so I need to save as much money as I possibly can. It'll be interesting to see how the next few months play out for me. But it will be cool to see that part of my family again. I havent seen my grandma since I graduated and I havent seen my aunt and uncles and cousins in like 7 years. So it will be good.
Well, I'm getting homesick, but I think its more homesick from my mom and dad than it is actually bein homesick and missing Alaska. And when hockey season starts again I know I'll be missing that too. My Grandma said she found a hockey team near by where she's at so at least I can get my hockey fix. It'll be weird tho not knowing any of the players. I know most of the players on the two teams back home and its alot more fun to cheer for people you know personally than it is to just cheer. Again... we'll see how things go. Anyway, I'm getting tired of typing now so I'm gonna end this. Peace out playas... haha that was lame :D
xX_ME_Xx |
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| Hahaha |
[Apr. 23rd, 2005|09:53 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  giddy | ] |
Ok so I went in to town today because I'm watching Holly's parents' dogs while they're in Anchorage and one my way home I pass these two guys in a Ford Lightning. All of a sudden the guys speeds up and passes me... then slows down... then speeds up once I get next to him again and slows down. He does this about 5 times till I finally get next to him and both of us hit it and I pass the bitch doin 80 and get in front of him and he stays behind me.. lmao.. oh that was funny. Little man in his little truck thought he was cooler than me. HAHAHAHA no way man. I'm the coolest. Anyway, Ian should be home soon and then I'm gonna go over there and see if he wants to go out to moose creek with me for a little bit and hear me sing some yeah I'm not going to attempt to spell it but yeah... that one thing where you sing along with the words on the screen and just the music.. .lol. So I'm gonna go for now. Just thought I'd share in my first "race experience" if thats really what you want to call it. I wouldnt call it that.. but yeah. Later
xX_Me_Xx |
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| Holy Eff |
[Apr. 21st, 2005|01:38 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  excited | ] |
6 more days and my Holly will be here!!!!!!!! OMG I CANT WAIT!!!!!! Its gonna be sooooo perfect!!! I wish she could just stay here. That way I wouldnt have to see her leave ever again!! I could so hang out with her forever for the rest of my life and not have to worry about anyone else... EVER!! She's the bestest friend I've ever had and the one true friend I've ever had. She is the absolute reason I live everyday.... and if she was here all the time I would be sooooooooo much happier. No one can even come close to being the friend that Holly has been to me. Holly has never stabbed me in the back, nor has she ever accused me of doin that to her. Because I never have and I never will. I could never hurt my Holly. If I ever did I'd feel like the biggest asshole ever. She's to amazing and to perfect for me to do that too. She keeps me sane and in 6 days I will have her here again just like old times. And we're going to have a kick ass time for 2 weeks. It'll be the best 2 weeks ever..... EVER!!! I LOVE YOU HOLLY!!!! <3333333
So not that I'm not already uber happy these days. I have met the most amazing guy. I've hung out with him 3 days in a row and he hasnt tried to do anything with me. All he's wanted to do for right now is cuddle and make-out. OMG can you say effing perfect? I can... Ian. He gives me butterflies and the last time I had butterflies was my freshman year in highschool with Justin Clark. My first and probably my only true love. And that was a lil over 5 years ago. Freakin nuts I know, but its true. Ian makes me so happy and he makes me feel like a person.... not a sex toy which is so fucking awesome. You have no idea how good it feels to know that when I go over to his house I'm not going to have to push him off of me and tell him no cuz he's not trying to get in my pants just yet. The past 3 nites I have layed in bed with him with my arms around him and his arms around me and we've fallen asleep. I hate the fact that I cant just stay there all nite with him, but the time that I do get to spend with him makes me so happy. I'm so happy I'm in this relationship. Its the best thing ever. He says I make him so happy, and all I have to do is be there with him, holding him, kissing him and he's the happiest person in the world. OMG I love it! :) Ok ok I think thats enough gushing from me hehehe. Its time for bed. |
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| crap |
[Mar. 15th, 2005|11:07 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
Ok so here we go again. Another round of Brandy feeling like shit... and who can I blame?? No one but myself. I bring all this shit on myself. Boys are nothin but heartbreak.... I know this... yet I still go back for more. I know I'm gonna get hurt.. I feel it before it happens. Like wtf is wrong with me? How can someone be so stupid. Its like you touch the stove, its fuckin hot, you burn yourself, do you touch it again? If you're a complete dumbass you do. Me... yeah I've touched that fuckin stove a million times over and the same shit happens. So why the fuck do I keep touching it?? Cuz I'm a fuckin idiot. I give up on finding what I'm looking for.. because the min it comes around it takes just one sec to turn around and leave again. Leaving me with a lump in my throat for days cuz I cant stop crying. Cant stop myself from wanting to end it. Its like fuckin stab me in the heart a million times with a knife... at least then it'd stop beating and it wouldnt hurt so fuckin bad. Shoot me in the face and leave me six feet under... thats what I say. Sounds like an excellent fucking plan to me. Take all this for what its worth but the truth of the matter is.. I'm tired of hurting.. I'm tired of trustin people, letting them in just so they can fuckin rip my heart out and leave it bruised for life. I cant write anymore about how shitty I am... I'm fucking done.. I have to go cry now... again. |
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| Woot |
[Jan. 29th, 2005|12:26 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
Ok so tonite was alright.. nothin to big happened. I did however get my canada beanie finally.. haha. I've been wanting one sooooo bad. So tonite Curtis Fraser had one on and I was all "Hey Curtis, I want your hat" totally joking and not thinking at all that he was actually going to give it to me.. but he takes it off and throws it up at me and I'm all "Curtis you so rawk!" haha.. its awesome! So I finally got one and I'm happy now.. hehe. And then... Danni and Amanda had Muspratt give me a hug. I told them not to do it but they did it anyway... I was like grrrrr... for 2.5 seconds.. haha... then I was like "Fine ok" haha. I'm talking to him on msn now.. he's cool. Anywho.. I'm tired just thought I'd update since I havent done that in awhile... I'll write more when I have some time. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 17th, 2005|11:14 pm] |
Haha... I love this quiz... tee hee hee... And I got my fave player!!! Wooha!! go me :) |
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| Another one bites the dust |
[Jan. 8th, 2005|11:49 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | giggly | ] |
And yet another totally awesome nite!!! Sno-X was the shit. Lee Stuart is the hawtest Canadian snowmachine racer I've ever seen in my entire life... AND Brandy got his e-mail *does a happy dance* It was awesome. I got to scream my head off. Which is always fun.. haha AND THEN! After that we stopped by the dipper to see if Lisa was still there and she was. So we parked next to her truck and waited for her to come out. And she was taking both Nick and Greg home.. so we got their e-mails too and chatted with them for a bit. I'm talking to Stutzy right now on aim.. he's freakin hilarious. He wants me to come over and watch football with him in the morning. I'm like dude you have to ask Lisa. She is my boss ya know. It would be kinda weird to go over to her house and chill. But who knows... knowin Brandy's luck with Ice Dogs.. it wont happen anyway. But he's still a funny guy. Anyway, Im gonna talk to greg some more.. I'm out.
xX_ME_Xx |
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| Happy Dance |
[Jan. 8th, 2005|12:19 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | chipper | ] |
Dude last nite was soooooo much fun. The hockey game was a good one even tho we ended up losing 4-3 in O/T. But we met our fourth string goalie last nite. He is such a dork its hilarious. Talkin about cuddling with Von Bokern and shit. It was great. We told Nick that Greg said they cuddle at nite together. and Nick was like "He's gonna cuddle with me??" and we were like "Yep thats what he said" and Nick did a little happy dance... haha.. then when we saw Greg agian he was like "Well I'm gonna go home and cuddle with myself cuz no one wants to cuddle with me" and I said "No no no you have a cuddle buddy" and he goes "Huh? who?" and I said "Nick... we told him you were gonna cuddle with him tonite and he did a happy dance" and Greg goes "He did a happy dance??" and we were all "Yeah" and then Greg was like "YES!" haha... priceless. But during the game me Whit and Danni stood in this box.. all of us... to get the guys to score. lol... the first time they scored it was just Danni in the box so after that we all decided to jump in the box.. and low and behold B-Lake scored two goals in the third to tie us up. Thats when we went in to O/T... but the stupid box didn't work in O/T... so after we lost we kicked the hell out of that box.. lol. I've never had that much fun working.. haha. Anyway.. so tonite should be lots of fun too. Me and Danni are going to Sno-X and we have pit passes so we get to meet all the riders before the show. I cant wait. Its gonna be awesome. And yes ... I know... OMG Brandy is missing yet another Ice Dogs game.... cept this time its not for another hockey game.. its for Sno-X.... have you shat your pants yet? lol. But I gotta go get ready for goin out tonite. So I'll end this for now.
xX_ME_Xx |
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| *yawns* |
[Jan. 6th, 2005|02:07 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drained | ] |
Well tonite was fun.... Derek Weber called me... yeah I know... woah right? I havent talked to him since Holly and Rob got married and he just called outta the blue. Anyway, he wanted me to go catch a movie. Ashley was over so she came with. We went and saw National Treasure. It was a pretty good movie. I enjoyed it. The ride to and from the movies was hilarious. Me, Ashley, and Derek all squeezed into his little Toyota. I rode the whole way with seat belt buckles shoved into my big ass. Joy!! Me and ashley would not shut up. We were giggilin the whole way. I think Derek thinks we're nuts now.. haha.. but its ok cuz he likes it.. lol. Me and Ash played dance dance revolution at the movie theater too.. I sooo kicked her ass.. haha... my highest combo on our last song was 128... damn skippy. Beat that bitches :P I love that fucking game. I'm so glad ash let me keep it here. I'm gonna play that bitch everyday. lol Anyway, sleep has not been my friend lately. It freakin sux. I just have not been able to sleep lately. Oh dont get me wrong.. I try.. I honestly do try... I just cant. Like last nite.. I actually layed down in my bed at like midnite... but I didn't actually fall asleep till sometime after 3. Its hella lame. Anyway.... seein how its 2:30am.. I suppose I should tuck myself into bed. Maybe if I'm lucky I'll be to sleep before 4.... grrrr.... nite |
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| Thats it |
[Dec. 31st, 2004|06:03 pm] |
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I'm done with everything.... I'm tired of giving myself to people who claim that I'm something special. I'm tired of them telling me lies that lead me and my heart on and then like two weeks later all the dreams that I've dreamnt up get crushed. There's no more of my heart to give to anyone... so fuck off and dont ask for it. Fuck you if you think you like me... I dont care anymore. If you like me.. good for you... but I dont care. I hate you all. I'm done trying to be happy. I'm done smiling when I know its not what I should be doing. I'm done pretending that nothing is wrong with me. Everything is wrong with me. EVERYTHING! I'm fucked up and its everyone's fault. You all made me this way. Hope you're happy. I'm never giving into anyone ever again. If there's something you want from me go find it from someone else cuz you're not gonna find it here. I'm done handin out money and rides and not getting anything back besides a fuckin shit load of crap that I dont need. Fuck you! I dont give a fuck if I have no friends... I dont care... cuz I dont fuckin need friends if all they wanna do is backstab me and fuck me over. FUCK THAT... oh yes and did I mention... FUCK YOU! Yes can you tell I'm having a fuckin terrible day, but you know what?? No one cares so its cool. 2005 is gonna blow as much cock as 2004 did... if not more and honestly... who cares. I wont be around for much of it anyway. I'm tired of you people treating me like shit. I'm tired of bein made out to be the fuckin bad guy in every situation. You dont know me. You just think you do. And that pisses me off. DOnt pretend to know me when you really dont. Its fuckin lame. Just like you! Wow imagine that. But yeah.. I thought I'd just say.... FUCK YOU!!! I'm done |
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| OH jesus |
[Dec. 29th, 2004|03:06 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | sleepy | ] |
SO I talked to holly tonite...and everytime I freakin talk to her it makes me miss her more and more. I'm thinkin that Michigan is my best bet. Who gives a shit if I dont know anyone else there.... I know Holly and thats all I need to know. She's all I need in this world and I'm going to be with her. I want her to fly up here and drive back with me. Not just so I dont have to drive alone, but cuz I suck at directions.. lmao. I'd probably get lost in Canada somewhere... lol. But Hol's always been good at that stuff. So I know I wouldnt have a problem if she was there with me. Plus it would be that road trip together that we always talked about in highschool. It'll be a good thing for both of us. She'll get away from Michigan for a little while and I'll be getting away from Alaska. Thank God. The only thing that bothers me about that is that I'm afriad that I'll fall flat on my face. But hey... I'll never know if I dont try right? So thats what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna try. For the both of us.
I was gonna move to Canada I know... but I thought about it.. and it would be easier to move to Michigan. I wont have to worry about a place to live, money change over, citizenship.. all that bull crap that I'd have to deal with movin to Canada. As much as I'd love to be around Adam.... I just dont think its possible :( But I still definitely would love to visit on my way through Canada. There's so many people that I want to get together with and hang out with for awhile. So maybe thats the better plan. Who knows eh. But its freakin 3am and I'm tired as shit. So I'm gonna go to bed now. |
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| Here goes |
[Dec. 13th, 2004|07:45 pm] |
My brain has been racing all day... I feel so lost. Like I dont belong anywhere. Like no one wants me around anymore. The only two people I have left are Holly and Adam... and for now they're both to far away. I hope things start lookin up for me. I hate feeling like this all the time. It gets rather old. Who knows. We'll have to see. Anyway... cant think of much else to say right now... but I will leave a poem I wrote today and then I'm done.
the people all around me dont know what I feel
dont understand, dont comprehend, to them I am not real
the pain, the hurt, the agony inside
i'm forced to run away from the feelings that I hide
but no one cares to figure me out at all
so here I sit pushed up against this wall
this wall of hate and unkindness holds me in
the anger and pain develops within
it grows worse with each passing day
i try to hold it in, but there aint no way
its to much pressure that continues to rise
if you look hard enough you'll see it in my eyes
i'm close to exploding and going insane
i've got nothing to lose and even less to gain
no one knows the real me at all and I know why
cuz they could care less if I live or I die
so why waste my time letting them get to know me
if they're just going to turn and run from me
love me or hate me I'll tell you this now
you're probably the reason I'm feeling this down
so take a step back and think to yourself
"Do I really know her or am I kidding myself"
and when you realize that you dont know me at all
i'll laugh in your face the first second you fall |
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| Why |
[Dec. 3rd, 2004|11:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | drained | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Daniel Beddingfield- If you're not the one | ] |
I've never actually tried to figure out why I get so jealous. Until tonite.... I know now why I do it and why I cant help it. All my life.. every bf I've ever had has left me for another girl... every one. And thats no exaggeration. I hate the fact that I get overly jealous a lot. I don't know how to stop it tho. And because of the fact that all my bfs have left me for other chicks... I am WAY protective and thats why I get so jealous. I'm afraid to lose them. I hate it sooooo much... but when shit like that happens its hard to not think.. "is this one like the others" "Is the same thing gonna happen?"... Its rough. And now that I truely think I've found the perfect person for me... I'm more scared than ever. I dont want him to run away because I get jealous. I want him to understand why I do it. I'm really trying to cut back on it. I really am. Its gonna be rough the next 6 months... but the day that I finally get to see him and hold him... I think a lot of the jealousy will stop. He's just to awesome for words. Like I don't even know how to explain it but I'm so connected to him. He's what I've been looking my whole life for. He's why none of my other relationships worked out. Cuz if they would have.. I may never have found him. I was meant to find him.. he was meant to find me... we were just meant for eachother. I gotta stay strong tho because in 6 months I'm gonna be 10 million times happier than I already am. And I'm soooooooooo happy right now. I'm gonna be the happiest I've ever been.... cuz I'll have him.... in my arms... to hold, and kiss, and talk to whenever I need to. He'll be there to look me in the eyes everyday and tell me "Brandy, you're the prettiest girl in the world" and that will make me feel like I'm the prettiest girl in the world... cuz it came from his lips. Everything that he'll do will make me glad to just be there with him. Everyone else in the world will dissapear because he'll have me in his arms. I cant wait for that day... until then... everyday will bring me closer to him and I'll keep him in my heart till I can keep him in my arms <3333333333333 I'm gonna go lay down for a bit before he gets online.. I cant wait to talk to him :) |
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| Yes sir |
[Dec. 2nd, 2004|10:37 pm] |
I had a lot of fun tonite.. even tho I was tired as all hell... I felt like a little kid at the game tryin to keep myself awake... you know how when a kid gets tired.. they just run their mouths and be really loud to keep themselves awake?? yeah that was me.. lol. It was like I was super hyper.. but I have no idea where the energy was comin from. It was crazy yet fun. And our boys finally pulled it together and got a win... 3-0... I was so proud. Damn Lisa and havin Nick Von Bokern live with her. She got to wear his Christmas jersey tonite.. grrrr.. I want it. I was gonna use the $500 bonus she gave us for Christmas to get it.. but now Im savin that for Canada. Its ok.. I'll live without a Christmas jersey. I have enough freakin jerseys as it is. I dont need another one. When I get to Canada they're all goin on my wall... Wahoo!! Now all I need is a Comeau jersey.. but I dont think I'll be getting that either. I was gonna spend tons of money on raffle tickets for it.. but again.. savin for Canada.. so oh well eh...
Anywho... I thought maybe writing somewhat in this would make me want to go to bed... but it didnt.. damnit. So much for that idea. Man 211 days till Canada... its gonna be so freakin sweet.. I cant wait. And the best part is, if I totally screw up.. I know my mom will help me get back here. Anyway.. Adam's back so I'm gonna talk to him.. nite |
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| Movin |
[Nov. 28th, 2004|10:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Watchin Harry Potter | ] |
Ok so I've come to the conclusion that I'm movin to Canada. No ifs ands or buts about it.. I'm leaving. I havent said anything to my mom about it yet.. but I'm sure she'll help me out and get me goin on what needs to be done. She knows I want out.... and well I have a couple people who really wanna go with me... so I wont be doin it all on my own. I cant wait to go either. I'll be able to be around Adam which is something that I am really looking forward to. And I finally get to hang out with Shan Banan. She's totally awesome. Man.. there's so much stuff that goes into movin to Canada tho. But I seriously am willing to do it... I have 6 or 7 months to save up every penny I earn to go there... and I'm gonna do it.
Adam's tryin to help me get in shape too. hehe.. he's such a goober but its ok.. I love him for it. He's actually tellin me what I should eat... and how to excersise... oh and he's givin me certain incentives for me to loose at least 25 lbs in 7 months. I'm pretty sure I can do it... 25 lbs in 7 months isnt asking that much. And with him helping me.. I know I can do it. He's to awesome like that.
But I just thought I'd give a lil update and let people who actually read this know that I'm leavin and I'm going to start over with new people. Its something that I know will be better for me in the long run.. and I think its time that I get out on my own. I can do it... as long as I have people who are behind me. I know I have at least one... when I talk to my mom I'm sure I'll have two. But I'm goin to bed now. |
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| Fuck it |
[Nov. 27th, 2004|05:06 am] |
OK so again.... whats new, Brandy balled her eyes out again. Wow.. that seems to be all I do lately... half the time I dont even know why.. I just do it. I fuckin hate it.. but I dont know whats causing it so how the hell am I supposed to fix it? Exactly..... its impossible to fix something that you have no idea where to start at. I cant stand to be so god damn far away from Holly.. I don't talk to her as much as I used to. She's hardcore into drugs now and that bothers me. I used to think that I was the one that kept her away from that shit.... I guess I was wrong.... and there's nothing I can do to make her see how I feel.. cuz the only way she looks at it is... "It keeps me happy and thats all that I can do to stay happy" When I know it isnt tru.. Unfortunately she doesnt. And I dont know what to do anymore. I Dont know how to make her see that it bothers me that she does it. But whatever right? She's gonna do whatever she wants to do. I cant stop her. Just like if she wants to go visit Paul instead of coming to visit me.. she's gonna do it.... cuz I guess thats just more important to her in her life right now. Meh.. what the hell can I do? Nothing... exactly... so I'll sit back and let her do her thing.
I'm tired of fake people... I'm tired of people pretending to be something they're not.. like my friends for instance.... listen.. if you dont fuckin like me... fuckin tell me.. dont act like you do and then talk shit behind my back... cuz I KNOW you fuckers do it! I KNOW YOU DO!!! Its complete bullshit!!! Quit bein fuckin bitches and grow the fuck up! Dont like me??? Fine tell me so and I'll go some place else... even tho I'm really not wanted anywhere else I'll go there. Its better than bein somewhere where people pretend to want me around... kiss my ass!!!
I cant stop crying.. I'll stop for like half an hour and then start back up again. The only person in the workd who gives a fuck right now is Adam. Its fuckin 6:30am his time and he's been up with me all nite tryin to talk things out with me.... he makes me feel better... but I still want to cry. I just cant with him..... I've cried alot with him tonite tho.. the first time ever... and it feels weird... it feels weird to know that he can see me when I'm at my all time low.. but then again it feels good to know that even tho he sees me like this.. he still talks to me... he still tries to help me out... thats a friend mother fuckers... learn from it.... anyway.. I'm done for tonite... yep |
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| Fuckin Bitch |
[Nov. 22nd, 2004|10:44 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  infuriated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | ICP Bitches and ICP Fuck the World | ] |
OH I fuckin love people who pretend to be your fucking friends... oh yes and then there's the guys who lie to you constantly and think that you don't see that they're lying through their ass!!! Yeah so get this... last friday I had a couple friends over... and the one friend gets a phone call from someone and she calls them back on my home phone cuz she doesn't get good reception... well she comes out of my room and is all "Brandy.. this guy I'm talking to says he knows you. His name is Justin.. he says he dated you for awhile" So of course this throws me into jealous mode right away.. so I grab the phone from her and start talking to him. So he proceedes to tell me that he misses me and misses cuddling with me.. and of course.. Brandy bein the dumb ass that she is falls for it and replys "I miss you too" Then my "friend" stands in front of me and looks at me and has the nerve to say "Hey I'm the one thats supposed to be talking to him" OH FUCK NO BITCH!!!! So I gave her a look like "Fuck you! My ex... I'm talking to him.. you cant. Back the fuck up!" and I continued talking to him... well he proceeded to tell me then that I should come see him the next day and cuddle with him and watch movies... I tell him I'll see what I can do. So I get off the phone with him and obviously I have this pissed of jealous look on my face because she asks me "Are you ok?" and I was like "No." and she goes "Is there still feelings?" and I was like "Yeah there is... and it hurts. I miss him" and that was the end of that.... WELL!!!! Saturday rolls around and I meet up with Justin at wal-mart and he's huggin on me and kissin on me like nothing ever happened between us. And it felt good.. I felt like I still had him. He tells me that I should come stay the nite with him and I told him I couldn't because I had promised my friend Jon that I would go to his b-day party at the princess hotel. He was a lil bummed but told me to call him tomorrow (Sunday) So I said ok and we went our seperate ways. Well, the party came around and Amanda shows up and nothings wrong... ya know.. same old same old... we're cool. SO that nite went to shit but thats a different story.. not the important part of this one. Anyway, so I go to the movies with some friends tonite.. and one of them is like "Yeah *so and so* (so called friend) slept with two people that nite" and me and danni were like "WTF!?!?!" And she goes "Yeah and you know the other person very well Brandy" And I was like "OMFG!!! It was Justin wasn't it!?!" and she was like "Yeah" I flipped the fuck out... and I've been pissed all nite about it. SO I come home and she tries to talk to me cuz obviously my sn on msn isn't a very nice one and she's all "Whats wrong?" and I was like "If I were you.. I wouldn't fuckin talk to me" and that was that... then I message Justin ..... "You make me fuckin sick" -me
"what?" -Justin
"Don't play stupid with me. You know exactly what Im talking about" -me
"Uhh no I don't. What are you talking about?" -Justin
"*SO AND SO!!!*" -me
"the girl that you're friends with?" -Justin
"was friends with" -me
"Why was?" -Justin
"Cuz you fucked her" -Me
"What?? I haven't even met her" -Justin
Ummm I smell bullshit.. and a bullshit liar.... frankly.... they both can die for all I care...and if I ever talk to either one of them again they will be EXTREMELY lucky!!! And I swear if she tries to talk to me at hockey this weekend.. she's gonna get hit in her dirty ass mouth!!! I'm tired of bein walked all over... this shit is going to stop!! If Holly was here she would be kickin people's faces in sooooooo fuckin far.. they'd never be able to see straight again. I need to start standing up for myself and stop letting guys think they fuckin own me... I'm not someone that they can just have around for whenever they want "something"... Fuck that! Thats what their hand is for.. cuz I aint doin that shit for them anymore! They can all kiss my ass.... I need my Holly here and I need her now.. this fuckin blows... She's the only tru friend I have left.. she'd never EVER do this shit to me... I'm done |
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| Wooha! |
[Sep. 29th, 2004|08:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | bouncy | ] |
I'm am sooooooooo super duper excied! I cannot wait till I go to Cali!! Sat nite/Sun mornin I will be on a plane to cali. I'm so hella nervous tho about tryin out for american idol. But yet at the same time its something that I cannot wait for. AND to make things even better I'll get to see my baby too! OMG for the past four nites all I've done is dream about seein him. Steppin off the plane and seein him waitin there for me... or standing in line at american idol with him standin behind me arms wrapped around my stomach holding me close... or layin in bed in our hotel room talking and looking into eachother's eyes while holding eachother.... Its gonna be great and I totally can't wait! I love him!!!! <3333
I was havin kind of a shitty day today.. just cuz I've been so tired lately. So bein tired at work just makes me wanna sleep instead of work. And that makes the day go by slow... and it makes me screw shit up at work too. Like today I took a message for my boss.. but me bein a dumbass forget to get the lady's name or even who she was callin for and when I gave the message to my boss she was all "Who was this?" and I was all "uhhhhh crap... I dunno she didn't say" and then she gave me a look and was all "Well you're supposed to ask" *hits self in head* DUH! I knew that I was just fawkin spacin and totally forgot to ask. SO now my boss has no idea what the message is about or who its from and its all cuz I'm a fawkin retard! And then my mom doesn't get to my work till 25 min after I'm supposed to go to lunch and that pissed me off cuz people wait on me to get back from lunch to take their lunch and I'm sure they don't like goin 25 min later than they are supposed to just cuz they're waitin for me to take a full hour lunch. Grrrrr!!! I was pissed. But I came home and called Jon and heard his voice and it made all that bad stuff go away and then I got uber excited about goin to Cali! :) hehehe!!!
So that was my day... and how I'm feelin right now. I hope I get to call Jon again tonite cuz I really wanna talk to him. When I called him I only talked to him for like 8 min cuz thats all that phone card had on it... and he was goin to take a shower so I didn't call him back. And now he's not home so I have to wait for him to get home... hopefully I'm on when he gets home so I can call.. if not I'll just have to call him tomorrow on my lunch or tomorrow when I get off work... anywhore.. I'm gonna end this now... Just thought I would add a bit cuz I haven't written much lately. |
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broken_dreamz11's journal
